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The Quiet Things That Noone Ever Knows... [entries|friends|calendar]
*[.mandy.lynn.]*

NAVIGATION

aLL aBoUt MaNdaRiN!
iCoNs
My LoVeS!!
AdD mE biTcHeS!

ALL ABOUT MUAH

The name's Mandy, or Mandarin or w/e the fuck you're in the mood for calling me. lol I'm a junior at ACHS, brown hair, hazel eyes, 5'4.. (if you'd like pics visit: picturetrail.com/mandarin187) i'm a sweetheart, but don't get on my bad side..I love hanging with my friends, I'm into oldies and hard-rock/emo music ..favorite band is THE USED ..i've got a fetish for britney spears, so don't even think about hating on her here. i'm the MOD at _beautyfades_ community, a community for the override impaired. hit me up if you'd like a layout! ...and if you wanna add me..leave me a comment telling me why, because i don't enjoy 40 year old men getting off to my personal life..that's about it. if you wanna know anything else, ASK ME! i love youuu<3

MUSIC IS LOVE

SONG OF THE DAY:
THE USED - "I CAUGHT FIRE (IN YOUR EYES)"
Seemed to stop my breath
My head on your chest
Waiting to cave in
From the bottom of my...
Hear your voice again
Could we dim the sun
And wonder where we've been
Maybe you and me
So kiss me like you did
My heart stopped beating
Such a softer sin
(I'm melting, I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
Now
Never caught my breath
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess
Ever know each other
Trust these words are stones
why cuts aren't healing
Learning how to love
I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
(Stay with me lay with me now)
You could stay and watch me fall
And of course I'll ask for help
Just stay with me now
Take my hand
We could take our heads off
stay in bed just make love that's all
Just stay with me now
I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me lay with me
(Stay with me, lay with me)
In your eyes
Lets sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)
Let's leave till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes

Things i ADORE

keiera lanay kisel! =D . emo/rock music . tacos . tattoos . fairies . poetry . pillow fights . teddy bears . kissing/cuddling . pink . stars . snow . walking in the rain . old-timey cars . 80's music . the beach . bubbles . glitter . ice cream . laughter . leather . old/sappy love movies . marilyn monroe . AIM . alkeyhall . chapstick . body piercings . secrets . NAPOLEON DYNAMITE!

VISIT MY COMMUNITY


BEAUTY FADES

HOLLER AT ME NEGRO!

AIM edible undiez x
EMAIL buried_your_liez@yahoo.com
MaNdY's El-Jay BitCh!
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

SURVEY [ Thursday,
February 10th - 12:44 pm ]
[ mood | blah ]

wow..this week's been so crazy! been doin nothing but hanging out with jenn and her crazy ass family! so sunday..church. home. talk to michael. go to bed EXTREMELY early. finally caught up on all my sleep. wake up monday. go visit g-ma. sit around the house for a few hours. jenn picks me up around 7.. we go back to her house. i dyed her hair brown. EEEEEEP! no it looks good though. we decide to go to baskin robbins and visit cait and get ice cream. well we get there at like 10:01, and they're closed. so i call cait 83749834 times, she doesn't pick up her phone. she saw me and said she'd let us in in a few minutes. well we stood out there like jackasses for like 25 min. i got bored and pissed so we leave. go to blockbuster. decide to rent a few movies. well turns out the people at blockbuster are assmunches and wouldn't let us rent movies because we owed a fee or something. and we can't come back til we pay it? mmkayyy then. BITCHES! moving on. so we go to starbucks and get frappacinos. get home, bored and tired as shit. go to bed. wake up tuesday. WOOHOOOO mardi gras!!! take showers. get ready and go to a crawfish boil at jenn's aunts house. we sit around and do nothing but eat all day, watch TV and play poker! weeeeee.. i just love these family poker nights. i played with everyone else's money and won..but when i cashed in my own money i didn't win jack shit! rahhhhh... karma's a real son a bitch. so i go grab my stuff at jenn's and go home. planned on going to sleep at 1030 cause i had to get up extremely early. but of course, i stayed on the phone and didn't get to bed til after 1 o clock. grrrrr. so wednesday - cait's bday! woke up around 8. get ready and go to her house around 1030. alicia came and picked us up. we went to her house to make pancakes but the milk was rotten. *gag* so we went to tastee donuts. back to alicia's. eat. go to cait's and get ready. man, al, john, chad and robin all go to applebee's. of course, my parents give me moola but i'm still a broke ass bitch. so we wound up paying for my lunch - 12 bucks in mostly change. woohoooo. we coulda just skipped the bill, but that wouldn't be smart. so we leave. go to baskin robbins, pick up ice cream cake. of course cait has to comment on how if i hadn't been a bitch i could've been on the cake instead of her, carly and robin. so thanks, that made my day. so we go back to cait's for an hour or so. sit around bored as fuck. can't think of anything to do. wanted to go to the zoo, but it was raining. decided to go to church and get ashes. then leave and go to the movies to see COACH CARTER. wow it was soo good. one of the best movies i've seen in a long time. spent nearly 2 hours and about 50 text messages to phil. that was interesting. so anyways. dad called me like 874329847932 times, and i didn't answer. so after the movie, chad brought me home. i fell asleep and jeff called. called him back, didn't pick up. tried to go back to sleep. couldn't. called michael. discussed the entire day with him. he said he'd call me back, and of course he didn't. so i passed out. woke up around 11. filled out this really cool survey that i know ALL you kids are gonna read and steal from me. phil just called, wanted me to go eat lunch at taco bell with him and joe and some other kids. but i can't cause i'm watching my lil sis. goddamnit. lil munchkin always ruins my plans. but mom's coming home in a lil while to taking me shopping cause i still haven't bought a gift for cait's bday. soooo yeah, thats pretty much my week so far. and tomorrow's friday! so that should be exciting. hopefully i'll see michael, cause i miss him oh so much =( well, bye bye for now. leave some love<3



Pick a band or artist and answer the following questions with their lyrics:

The Used

Are you male or female:
The singer finished singing and she's walking out
The singer sheds a tear, her fear of falling out


*Describe yourself:
I'm so apathetic in my resentment
Living, loving, knowing not

-----
And I am not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.

*How do some people feel about you:
I'm so far gone now I been running on empty

*How do you feel about yourself:
I'm a worm with no more chances
And I've lost all doubt
In a chemical romance


*Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:
You almost always pick the best times
To drop the worst lines
You almost made me cry again this time
Another false alarm
Red flashing lights
Well this time I'm not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game
And let myself cry
I buried myself alive on the inside
So I could shut you out
And let you go away for a long time


*Describe your current crush:
Do, Do you, Do you know?
Do you know how long I've waited?
To look up from below,
Just to find someone like you?
And will your love light burn me baby?
Burn a hole right through my heart
I think I might just trust you, maybe
But I'm not sure
I'm not sure I wanna know


*Describe where you want to be:
Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind
Where worries are washed out to sea
See the changes, people's faces blurred out
Like the sun spots or raindrops


*Describe what you want:
Maybe a good excuse not to give a fuck. But I... Care. For You. Said alright. Could be a good excuse.

*Describe how you live:
Left the only worries I had in my hands
Away from the light in my eyes
Holding tight and try not to hide how i feel
'Cause feelings mean nothing


*Describe how you love:
I'm melting
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me now


*Share a few words of wisdom:
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
-----
Love is not like anything
Especially a fucking knife

4 choke on your empty words go ahead, SCREAM -> i dare you

MARDI GRAS '05 BITCHES! [ Sunday,
February 6th - 10:28 am ]
[ mood | tired ]

well guys, i havent updated in quite some time, so i'll try and make this one as short as possible. (and if you know me, you know that this one will probably take you hours to read lol)

LAST WEEKEND:
FRIDAY: out with jenn. eat subway. drive around with nowhere to go. call pearson. decide to go meet up with him and a bunch of other guys at geremy's house. finally give pearson our WF pics. they all laugh at him and make fun of his obnoxiously long hair. hah poor kid. sooo we sit around and watch them breakdance. they dig through our purses, look at pics (i learn how this one kid stole my cousin's virginity-how nice, cause ya know i always wanted to know this right?) so they decide to pull every little thing out of my purse and play with it. they fucked up my lighter. (the cute lil pink one me n jenn stole that night. which btw..is the coolest lighter anyone has ever seen bitch) wooo thank you thank you. so we're gettin pretty bored. decide to leave cause jenn's parents said if we came home early they'd buy us drinks. WEEE!! (we never actually got them though..) so jenn walks outside. they lock me inside. o wonderful. so its like 12 guys to 1 girl. i was scared for my life. well no not really lol. so they start throwing condoms down my shirt. smother me with "baseball cups" and if you know what that is, you know its absolutely RANCID. so yeah, im feelin pretty violated. i grab my shoes and run. hahaha
SATURDAY: CAESAR parade!! dad/bill bought us drinks. wow we had so much fun flashin them old guys, right jenn! hahaha so i come home with MASSIVE amounts of beads. can't feel my neck. talk with michael til 1 in the morning. wash the grunge off my face and pass out.
SUNDAY: don't think i did much of anything. cept i slept most of the day. daddy bought me and jenn tickets to the ashlee simpson concert a week after my birthday!! woohoo.. *excitement* ...later on - went to church. came home. my parents dragged me in their room and said we needed to have a "talk". and you know when parents say that, it can't be good. so i'm like shitting on myself, i had no idea what was going on. i thought it had something to do with my smoking and drinking, and somehow they found out. but they told me to sit at the computer and pull up this webpage. i was like holy shit they found nude pics of me, or they saved my AIM conversations or something really gay like that. well it's a CINGULAR webpage. i'm like kay? watcha want me to do? mom's like "well we picked your plan, now pick your new cell phone" im like JHDGFLAKJSHDFOIWEUJBDSLKFH!?!!?are you kidding me? is this a joke?! so woooo!! i'm now the proud owner of a cell phone! i love it i love it i love it! and now you can call any fucking time you want and it won't be busy! yesssssss (i think every one pretty much knows the number, but if not, frickin IM me and tell me who you are, so i don't get a bunch of mexi's callin me at 2 in the morning)
MONDAY--SATURDAY: this week..kinda boring. nothing but practicing for rally. played with my cell phone every day, still don't know what half the buttons mean. michael says i have no common sense whatsoever. thank you dear. got progress reports! who has nothing but A's and B's and a gpa of 3.42 ?! is it me! o hunny i do believe!!! scoooore..so i got 35 bucks dude. (and i get an allowance of 40 dollars a month out of the accident insurance money) scoooore..i'm a rich bitch! i'm a real big tymer!! lmao... thursday night: parade with maggie and her family. get out the car: "wow you guys it smells like panchos"..they're all laughing at me. i turn around and theres a HUUUUUUUGE sign that says PANCHOS. lmfao.. i was like wow ima frickin idiot! so we froze our asses off but it was soooo much fun. took crazy pics and caught lots of shit. saw donegan for all of 5 min! woohoo.. lol watched these crazy ass people go try and move a light post? random, i know. they marched through panchos and threw beads at people hahahahah....came home, talked to michael. left with daddy and went to baskin robbins. stayed there for like 45 min with cait. we talked about everything, and we're finally back to where we were. woo i'm so excited. her bday is in 3 days!! yayyyy we're gonna have oodles of fun..wooo well friday was rally. we looked SOOO cute, took lots of pics.. i'll put them up on pictrail later. but shit! we fucking kicked ass dude! nobody even got a chance to win anything but us. 8th graders got attendance. who cares? we lost silly games by a mile. but we took over CHEERS, SKIT, COSTUMES, and ALL DECORATIONS! bitches be jealous! CLASS OF '06 RULES YOU ALL!!! "and all chapelle says we're pretty fly for some JUNIORS!!" hahaha man i love it! the seniors were crying and blah blah blah.. we just laughed in their faces, cause now we've PROVED we're better than them! heck yes we did! so i came home and bragged to jenn and all my riverjail buddies. didn't even take a shower. my nasty ass just went to the parades with my hawt makeup that ashbaby did for me. so me and jenn went to alchila and jason? caught MANY beads. saw cait marching, took pics of her. left and went to BK. we stood around and watched them all have this freakin mardi gras moshpit in front of the drive-through. me and jenn got kinda scared. so us loners just stayed off to the side and i called michael and told him to come over by us. cause there was noway in hell i was gonna get jenn in there. its okay, im glad we didn't get mixed up in that shit cause i get claustrophobic anyway. so michael walked his happy ass over to me and aww he looked so effin cute.. i luuuv this kid!! v-day's in 8 days yayyy i better get somethin good lol. so we smoked and walked with them for a lil while. went to jenn's car. drove back to our spot. caught more beads. i got hit on by BOUDREAUX THE NUTRIA! lmfao..wow frankie says i shouldn't tell ppl that, but i'm pretty damn proud of it. he's probably some lanky 40 year old looking for ass. but who cares! he wanted me! hahaha so he's video taping me and showering me with beads and blowing kisses..and yeah. it was fuckin hilarious. so we get kinda bored after awhile. decide to leave and try and meet up with this girl candace and some cute guys from jenn's work. uh oh uh oh. the pimp in jenn has emerged. she's struggling trying to figure out which one is cuter and which one she should go for. goddamnit! i wish i had 8374928347 guys to pick from lol.. i have ONE! but it's okay cause he's A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!! so we leave. drive around in lakeside parking lot waiting to say goodbye to my luv. he came and got me. we talked and kissed and laughed and made out some more. *tears* beautiful moment. lmao jk. it WAS cute though. we were freezing our asses off. so we sat in the back of jenn's car and snuggled and aw it was frickin cute. this kid called me like 832748923749823 times. i got jenn to play it off and now i think he's mad at me. haha do i care? NO. so michael left after awhile. sniff bye. so we drove all the way out to frickin BFE to go see these dudes from work. and they weren't even there. BUMMER! so we went to jason's house. lol woooow. that was some crazy shit. me and grennan were fighting. i kept hitting him with my belt. he threw me to the ground and busted my knee. OWW! then he took my shoes and ripped out my earring. djshfajshfkjsadf mother fucker. we left around 1130. realized i lost my 20$ earrings. well only one, but hey i cant just wear one ..thats faggish. so i called them up and made them go back outside and look for it. haha im so nice. they did and they found it. i still haven't gotten it back. but okay. back to jenn's. we talked FOREVER about boys ..lots of girltalk. eventually passed out. woke up to the sound of ashleigh singing. o yes. we tried for an hour to wake jenn up. we blared music in her ear, and tickled her. we yelled obnoxiously yet she never budged. got kinda scared, thought she might be dead or something lol. mother fucker was awake the whole time! lmao. i love this kid. we'll remember this along with the bed and desk incident FOREVER. we have the weirdest insiders i swear. hahaha. so we took showers. went to the mall. jenn bought shoes. we left and went to endymion with jenn and her fam. it was so crazy. we had fun with our 93746982374 pounds of chocolate and our pink and blue gloves. didn't catch as much shit as the other parades. it could be cause everytime we caught something, we'd BOTH catch it and fight over it and eventually wind up breaking it. hahahah wooow. we're so gay. mary ellen and ashleigh were at each other's throats. i swear there gonna kill each other one day. so that was alot of drama. lots of kicking and screaming and crying. i got aggrivated and stopped talking to everyone. so after an hour break in the parade we got EXTREMELY bored..some dude fell of a float and they had to stop or something i donno. so we left and of course the minute we leave, the parade starts up again. go figure. it was silence the whole way home. i called michael. we talked for a while. went back to jenn's. still silence. i'm guessing people were kinda pissed off at me cause of all the drama that night. i donno. i called my dad and he came and got me. went home, called jenn. we talked about shit. i guess we're pretty much on the same page again. and i just refuse to side with mary ellen or ashleigh ever again, cause i can't be mixed up in family feuds. so we're EXHAUSTED. we both go to sleep. cait called me. poor kid was standing outside work for an hour waiting for someone to get her. i talked to her til her dad eventually came and picked her up. passed out again. woke up this morning to the smell of fresh RAUNCH. my room is now taken over by the stench of mardi gras beads..how lovely. now it's like 1030 in the fucking morning and i'm the only one awake.. besides robbie lol. poor kid is sick. but today's SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!! woohoooo... hopefully we'll do something exciting. i derno if i'm goin with jenn and her family, i'm expecting a call after work. but ta-ta for now! much love to you all <3

2 choke on your empty words go ahead, SCREAM -> i dare you

new layout / survey [ Sunday,
January 30th - 6:45 pm ]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

eeeep! dont you love the new layout! (comments requested)
sooo here's a survey i filled out, out of complete boredom..i'll update later on this weekend's events.....bye bye for now!! <3

I am not: thrilled right now with all that's going on...

I hurt: because of YOU..you did this to me..so thank you

I love: my 2 true friends: jennifer michelle lark and keiera lanay kisel!! =) .....and i still love caitlyn jeanne kramer..although she hates me by now =/

I hate: fighting with my bffaeutwfaawtiuwg *tears*

I fear: what will happen next ---- being alone ---- clowns

I hope: things work out with me n michael..i need this right now

I hear: the used - it's hard to say ...playing over again in my head

I crave: attention

I regret: not caring enough to think about how my actions affect those around me

I cry: all the time..im such an emo

I care: about him... hopefully this one will be different *crosses fingers*

I always: get myself into trouble i can't seem to get out of

I long: to find the perfect guy...pshhh like that'll ever happen

I feel alone: more times than i care to say

I listen: to emo rock

I hide: my feelings

I sing: like a popstar! lol jk..but no really you should hear me sing (not being conceited, just honest)

I believe: in God ....and love

I dance: worse than finnan...how sad

I write: poems

I breathe: all the time?

I play: with myself...hahaha jk or am i? ;)

I miss: michael...*sniffff*

I search: for myself

I learn: that no one can truly be trusted, but without trust there can be no happiness

I feel: sick and bored with life

I know: what "fo shizzle my nizzle" REALLY means ... "i concur with you whole-heartedly my african-american brother" --thank you rachel

I say: i'm a nerd

I succeed: because i try ..i try because i want to ..i want to because you said i couldn't

I fail: many tests in life

I dream: of being eternally happy

I wonder: why i'm a magnet for assholes/potheads

I drive: ...without a permit or liscence ..oops

I want: to feel forever the way i feel when i am with you...

I worry: that things won't ever be the same with me and cait *cries*

I have: the greatest friends in the world!! (or so i thought...cries again)

I give: love to everyone and get bitch slapped in return

I fight: for what i believe in

I wait: for people to start appreciating me...it will happen.....ONE DAY

I need: to stop wasting my time on useless surverys and go get ready for church

6 choke on your empty words go ahead, SCREAM -> i dare you

update [ Thursday,
January 27th - 9:42 pm ]
[ mood | annoyed ]

omgah. this weekend was definitely one of the worst i've ever had. i know i've said that 87348237498234 times in the past, but i really mean it this time. aside from mike's party, it was a living hell. so friday, go home with dom. noone's here but me. SCORE! take nice long bubble bath, run around im my undies. you know, the usual thing to do when you're home alone. spend 2 hours doing my hair and makeup and i still looked like crap. go figure. talked to jess for a very long time. realized it was 9:00 and i didn't have a fucking ride to get to mike's. niiiiice. so i call cait and they already left me. how wonderful! so i sit around pissed off, feeling sorry for myself. daddy comes up unexpectedly. asks me why i look so glum. wants to know if i'd like him to bring me somewhere. offers to take me to mike's on his way back to work. jhfhdsfjfdghdfkhsudhsfkj! like are you kidding me? since when is my dad cool like that? wow. so we pull up right as cait gets there. crazy! so we all go meet up in the back. chill and smoke and wait for drinks. they finally come with the "goods" and yeah, as usual we don't get what we paid for. feeling extremely pissed, we decide to go around and take one of everyone's...note: there were about 30 people there lol. so yeah, we drink and dance and hook up. mike gets thrown in the pool. bob TRIED to throw me in the pool. didn't happen. so yeah we all hang out and me and jamie got bored..my dad came and got us at like 1140 or something i dont even remember. carly passed out in the backseat...i sat next to my dad reaking of blacks, joes and lots of alcohol. i tried so hard to act straight. o well he'll never know. came home, passed out. woke up the next morning EXTREMELY early. dad told me we needed to get in the car and drive to westwego. im like WTF its like 9 in the morning? why are we doing this? well turns out my cousin lindsay stayed the night at a friends house, supposedly walked to the girl's gma's house, but they never made it there. so she's missing, i've got a hangover. really not in the mood for this crap. then we get concerned because the neighborhood they were in was TERRIBLE. i mean these people were trash. it was disgusting. so we go the g-ma's house and yeah these people looked like they should be living in a trailer, it was that bad. they had this HUGE sign on the front door that said "NO SMOKING" and all 3 of their fat asses were sittin on the couch, smoking a joe. im like WTF? i'm not staying here. so we left ...we were so disorganized, we had no idea what had happened to her. so we're looking in ditches and woods and garbage cans looking for the poor child. it was the hardest thing i've ever had to do in my entire life. i cried so hard, i almost threw up. so we spent nearly 7 hours out there driving back and forth, tracing and retracing our steps. well, i got really sick and depressed, i couldn't take it anymore. we went home, i called my g-ma and cried with her FOREVER. we prayed and cried and it was just a really good venting experience. i never have good convos with my g-ma, but hey desperate times call for desperate measures. so yeah, i obviously didn't go out, i was too depressed. i couldn't sleep so i stayed up the whole night watching movies. i watched that movie ANGEL EYES. it was soooo good. so i eventually passed out. wake up sunday morning, lindsay had been missing for almost 72 hours...but we got a call saying they found her. turns out that lindsay's friend had basically kidnapped her and forced her to walk about 20 miles to the girl's boyfriends house. lindsay cried and didn't wanna go, so the lil bitch hit her and beat her across the head. (btw..lindsay had head surgery a few years ago, so beating her on the head isn't much of a help to this child) i swear if i ever see her trailer park trash ass, i will knock her so hard she wont know what hit her. i mean come on 12 year olds don't have boyfriends, and they don't abuse their "friends." something's seriously wrong with this family. so by the time my aunt belinda had picked her up, the little girl had already ran away. so i hope they find her ass and throw her in juvie. lil punk ass bitch. ughhhh so we all go to cici's pizza to celebrate. eat massive amounts of food, take family pics. play video games. lol we're cool kids. we leave, go to church. come home and talk to michael =) go to bed really early. wake up monday, no school! so i cleaned house and slept all day. called michael after he got outta school. talked to him for awhile. i dont remember the rest of the day. woke up tuesday feeling sick. went to school anyway. failed every one of my tests. wednesday - i donno. it was boring. came home, feeling happy. talked to michael after school - a shit load of drama has started since we started "talking." tons of ex's and so called "friends" of mine have approached him, saying shit, like if he continues talking to me, he's gonna regret it? wtf? okayyyyyyy....o well i dont care much anymore, i did before. but fuck, i'm not gonna let these riverjail rejects get to me and ruin what i have going for me. so i talked to cait..she pretty much hates me, she thinks i'm a bitch, oh a FAT bitch. thank you. that definitely boosted my self-esteem a whole point. i love how she's supposed to be my BEST FRIEND. yeah right. i don't even know the meaning of friendship anymore. but i love how she doesn't think before she says shit like that. i mean seriously, you don't tell somebody that. that's just bitchy and a fucking stupid reason to fight with somebody and it's just so grammar school. if she's over michael, and she doesn't care, why is she running her mouth. that shocks me. either she's lying to me, or she's just trying to be a bitch. whatever. i mean come on, don't we have better things to do with our lives than hate on everybody else. but i guess i've gotta be the bigger person and take her shit, and avoid doing to her what she's doing to me. i know she'll get over it eventually and realize what she said to me was rude and it really hurt me. but i guess right now i'm just too upset about the present to care much about the future. o well, i like michael sooo much and i love how he makes me feel..and i guess that's all i really care about right now. so fuck everything else. i thought i had shitty friends, but i guess not. rougie came over tonight to comfort me. i feel a whole lot better. trust me, i wasn't this optomistic before. so thanks roug i sincerely love you big bro! so yeah we talked for an hour or so. i talked to michael, let him know that i don't plan on dropping him over this bullshit drama. so besides the fact that my best friends are backstabbers, i'm happy with what i have now. but yeah that's pretty much all that's been going on. hopefully, things will only get better from here. but i gotta go finish some homework and go call michael. so i'll update later. i luuvvv youuu<3

3 choke on your empty words go ahead, SCREAM -> i dare you

QUICK UPDATE [ Tuesday,
January 18th - 2:41 pm ]
[ mood | bored ]

so here's the rest of my weekend: sunday did NOTHING. just sat around talking to jenn. sunday night - take nap, go to church. go home for all of 5 seconds, grab my things and go to jenn's. nothing really to do. the rentals were in a rather pissy mood so we couldnt go out. so we go pick up katy, drive around and smoke a joe. back to jenn's. me and katy call "people" and catch them in their web of lies. cough cough. (i'll just say HE to protect against any embarassment we might cause you) it was pretty funny watching him squirm as he tried so hard to cover things up. oh but we own you bitch lol. we're exhausted. so we're trying to figure out how all three of us, plus ashleigh and the dog are going to sleep in one bed. we can't get the pull-out bed to open. so jenn climbs under the computer desk, and starts pushing on the bar and all of a sudden it pops up. lmao. jenn's head is just chilling there on the bed, and she's caught under the desk. me and katy are laughing our asses off. it had to be one of the funniest things i've ever seen. we took pics. =) hahaha so we're laughing. and then 2 seconds later we're crying. for some reason or other we got really depressed over all this shit going on. so jenn and ash were knocked out..me and katy watched A WALK TO REMEMBER and cried like babies. wow, we could NOT stop. i swear - we cried for at least an hour. WAHHH! I WANT A BOY. so we ate a ton of comfort food and eventually passed out. woke up the next morning. breakfast at BK. jenn had a doctor's appointment and we couldnt find a parking spot so katy volunteered to "go look for one" ..yeah, there were none. so we blared music, took pics of hawt cars, and drove around the parking garage for an hour or so til jenn was done. lol scary shit. but i must say, it was great fun. so we go pick up ash, go back to jenn's to get ready.... shit happens. basically, parents are fucktards. so we chilled at jenn's till things settled down. =( kathyrn! i'm sorry i love you darling. *tears* ...eventually went to esplanade. we were so fucking stressed so we waited outside for awhile in the cold, smoking a joe, OF COURSE. walked around carrying a 4 year old. got many approving stares. *thumbs up* so we eat, shop, and get aggrivated and bored. we leave. katy goes home. or i donno? im not sure she actually stayed there. me and jenn chill for awhile, clean up around the house. i had to go home and work on homework. talked to josh for the 374937248 time. jesus christ!, does it ever end? rarh. so i passed out around 1030 ..man i woke up this morning and i couldnt see. my allergies were so bad. my eyes were almost completely shut and my chest was so congested, it hurt so bad. =( so eventually i decided i couldnt stay at school, so i called mom. she came and got me. we went and got medicine. i came home and fell asleep. now i'm supposed to be doing homework. but i won't. THE END.

<3 jenn's the greatest. i fucking love my pork chop! fa sho!

4 choke on your empty words go ahead, SCREAM -> i dare you

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